Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize