I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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