I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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