$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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