why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize