You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize