pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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