The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
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I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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