Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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