I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Small penises have feelings too.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize