If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
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Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize