It's Friday. Sex?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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