you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize