he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
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I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
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If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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