I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
soo... how was my night?
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