i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
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I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
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thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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