he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
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