Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I want a musical about memes.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize