My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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