successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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