shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize