Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
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If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize