How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize