i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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