I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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