It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
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pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
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We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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