By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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