He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
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He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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