Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
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its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
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We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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