I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
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He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
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Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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