She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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