break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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