I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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