y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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