he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
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