There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
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Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
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Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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