You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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