My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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