Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
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This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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