So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Blood and glitter go together right?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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