I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize