I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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