Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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