My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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