Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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