He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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