Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
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I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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