You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I party with great urgency now.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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