16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
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