It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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