You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize