Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
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He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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